Seven winter shorts

1. The behavior...it's getting better. Or more manageable. The key is constant parental persistence in insisting on obedience, behavior, etc. And calm tones. It has been a challenge, friends. But then there are shining moments where Olivia voluntarily does (and explains that she has done) something she is supposed to do without being asked twice. Those are nice moments. Maybe she's just an overly active three-year-old. Maybe.

2. So, St. Nick brought us snow on Monday. A dusting, really, but it was enough to make Olivia want to go out and play. It lasted all of twenty minutes, until I was so cold I couldn't stand it anymore. But she did get to make this...
3. Olivia perfected her head stand in gymnastics this week, so she's been practicing it all week. This morning, she shouted from her room, "Come and see, Mommy." This is what I came and saw. Olivia and her barbies, all doing head stands. Silly girls.

4. Christmas shopping is 95% finished, and now I'm waiting on all of my deliveries. I have decided that I am in love with online shopping. So easy! Trying to shop with a three-year-old in tow is treacherous, at best, and trying to find time to shop FOR her, without her, is darn near impossible. This is a great alternative.

5. My husband has a job that requires a bit of travel at various times of the year. These two weeks of December are one of those times. Next week, he'll be gone for most of the week. This is hard. On the bright side, however...he just accepted a new job, starting in January. Same employer, different department, very little travel, working for a guy he really likes. And...AND he is asked to attend/facilitate an annual retreat which takes place on a cruise!! AND he gets to bring me along. FREE CRUISE. Salary-wise, it's a lateral move, but the fringe benefits are kind of awesome.

6. We've been sort of lax on the Advent crafts. I've been busy with a bunch of other things this week. I'm hoping to pick up some supplies, though, and ramp up the crafty activity next week. It will be our last full week with the babysitting kids, then two days the next week before Christmas break. Let's see what creative ideas we can find...

7. This is the time of year when soup sounds really, really good. Here's a recipe I came up with for Lentil soup that is pretty darn good.

Crockpot Lentil Soup

1 1/2 c lentils
2 carrots, chopped
2 stalks celery, chopped
1 c. onion
2 cloves minced garlic
1 lb ground beef
1/2 tsp basil
1/2 tsp oregano
1/4 tsp thyme
4 c. beef broth

Boil 6 cups water, add lentils and simmer 1 hour. Drain. Add lentils to beef broth in crock pot.

In skillet, brown ground beef. Add to crock pot. Saute veggies and garlic in skillet. Add to crockpot. Add spices. Cook on high 5-6 hours.

I think we are the problem and the solution

I'm coming to terms with the fact that my child may suffer from ADHD. Yes, this is something I've diagnosed myself, and I could be totally wrong. Most doctors warn against trying to diagnose a child until age six or so because so many of the hallmark behaviors (restlessness, inattention, easily distracted, impulsive) apply to most preschoolers. But in a group, Olivia is always, without exception, the most active, least attentive, most distracting child. True, her groups have thus far been limited to Bible school, gymnastics and family gatherings. But still.

I don't know...maybe I'm jumping the gun on this. But recently? Life has just been hard. Part of it, I think, is the fact that it is winter and therefore too cold to work out those energies in some active sort of way. So it comes out in more destructive, aggressive ways. As a result, we are all yelling. A lot.

One place we don't yell is in Church, and that seems to be where Olivia's worst behavior manifests itself. I hate that we leave Mass every week frustrated and not at all spiritually nourished because we just spent the last 50 minutes wrestling with/negotiating with/ threatening our child who won't stop talking and using the back of the pew in front of us as a stand-in for the uneven bars. (She says she is practicing holding her arms stiff and pointing her toes, which she did learn to do in gymnastics, and nothing I say can convince her that this is not the right place or time to be practicing her gymnastic skills.) When she disobeys in Church, she KNOWS that we can't do anything about it right there, and she flashes that devious grin when she gets away with the misbehavior. She's impulsive and defiant, and some of her worst behavior shows up in Church.

At home, she bounces around. I don't know how else to describe it. She doesn't stay in one place much. She jumps on the couch and the bed even though she KNOWS that is not allowed. When I ask her to do something, she comes up with indecipherable excuses, and when I insist that she do it anyway, she wanders off and does everything she possibly can to avoid doing this one thing. If (when) things get so frustrating that the yelling begins, it just causes her misbehavior to escalate. IT. IS. MADDENING.

So. Most of what I've read recommends behavioral adjustments for small children and their parents. Rigid schedules. Constant parental attention. Positive reinforcement. Calm tones. I know this stuff works to an extent, because I've seen her behavior change when we are off schedule or when Olivia is fighting to get our attention or the difference in yelling versus calm and persistent requests. I get it. It's us. We need to step up and be the parents that Olivia needs us to be. And coming to that realization is hard because it means that we are going to have to change a lot of things around here and break a lot of bad parental habits. I'm sure it will be worth it. I just hope it will be enough to break the cycle of bad behavior.

But I still have my doubts about her ability to sit still in Church. Help!

Advent projects

The weather has finally decided to act it's season, which means we are cold and stuck inside. Time for activities! We've been doing a lot of coloring, cutting and pasting this week. You know, the standard preschool activities. But since we have a seasonal excuse, I've decided that we are going to start doing crafts. Our tree is going to be full of child creations by Christmas break. And aren't the parents of my babysitting charges going to LOVE me! (Or not. I've discovered that a house can fill up with child creations pretty fast.)

Today we made bead trees. It's pretty easy. You get some of those tiny fuzzy sticks (we used to call them pipe cleaners). You'll need three for each tree. And pony beads. That's all.



Fold one stick in half and twist a loop at the top. Twist the halves together the rest of the way down. This is the trunk. Then cut one stick in thirds and one in half. Wind the smaller ones at top of the trunk, near the loop, and then the larger ones at the bottom. Hand them over to the children with a cup of pony beads. The kids string the beads on in their own preferred order. Add a tree hook and hang. The end.

I'd say it turned out pretty well. It might look more "tree-like" if you use brown or green fuzzy sticks, but all I had was white. Fun, easy, cheap. Go forth and make your own bead trees.

New floor

So. We did manage to get the majority of the new floor laid over Thanksgiving. It took most of three days to do it, but it's in enough to have kids running around here again, and that's all I can ask from a volunteer (my Dad) in his spare time.

Above: Laminate, new vinyl (left), old vinyl (right)

A few transitions have been added since then. Some transitions are still simply a covering of painter's tape to keep the kids from tripping on the carpet (and to keep polly pocket accessories from ending up forever trapped in the gap). The trim is bought, but won't be added for awhile. Maybe at Christmas. Watch how I'm not stressing about it at all.

Olivia shows off the new laminate. And her new favorite toy..."I want the swiffer."

The new vinyl is that stick-together stuff from Home Depot called "Allure." It floats, like vinyl (doesn't stick to the floor) and has sticky strips to bind each piece to the next piece. It was incredibly easy to install and we put it right over our old, ugly vinyl. It has the illusion of tile with a fraction of the effort. I'm all about simplicity.

Look at me and my new floor!

And it looks so much nicer. The picture doesn't do it justice, especially with the funky, angled transition (necessary for the way the walls lined up). But trust me, it's better.

During the last few days, I've experienced the joy of seeing EVERYTHING that falls on the floor. It has been enlightening. All of that crap was previously ground into my carpet, because I promise that I didn't get the vacuum out every day. Now I can just sweep it up. I like that a lot.

It's a little echo-y in here, which is the one big downside...especially with loud kids chasing each other in my house five days a week. But we've added a few rugs and books...and it's getting better. I've also noticed that I can hear footsteps, which were silent with carpet-on-concrete. But that's something of a benefit...I can hear Olivia coming when she wakes up in the middle of the night instead of startling awake to find a little face right in front of me.

Overall assessment...New floors = YAY! Also, early Merry Christmas to us because our Christmas budget just took a swift kick to the gut.

Projects, internal and external

We are plunging headlong into a project for our Thanksgiving holiday. We are replacing our carpet with laminate flooring. Judging by the coffee stains in the living room (from Olivia's "let's see what happens when we pick up Daddy's coffee mug and pour it out right here" days) and the multiple areas of cracker-like substance ground into the dining room carpet, it's time.

So. We've been ripping up carpet edges for the past several days and Joe has been removing the tack strips. As it turns out, removing carpet from concrete is not all that challenging. Tonight, my Dad is coming over and he and Joe will fold up the living room carpet and pad and start laying boards for our new floor.

In the meantime, I'm cleaning. We're putting in new vinyl over our old vinyl in the kitchen, so I'm getting the dirt out everywhere. It's a rainy day, which may lull the nappers into a longer slumber, making it a perfect time to finish floor preparations.

Except that the quiet...it allows for too much thinking. And I've been doing a lot of that lately. My mind swirls around various somewhat-related topics, all of them a little fuzzy and confusing and circling around the difficulties we've experienced trying to build our little family. I try not to think about it too much. But I'll hash it out a bit here, because that's what this space is for. And then maybe it will make more sense in my head.

Today, one of my nieces celebrates her first birthday. And her parents announced this weekend that she will be a big sister this Summer.

This news did not come as a shock to me...not at all. I didn't know they wanted to have another baby so soon, although apparently they did plan it that way, and I'm happy for them. It's not as if I thought they'd have trouble. Fertility abounds in this family, present company excluded. This baby will be the second 2011 addition to the family, bringing my parents' grandchild total to eleven. Our one child and my three brothers' combined ten children. Olivia, the youngest for nearly 17 months of her life, will now have four younger cousins.

The agency who did our homestudy and holds our profile encouraged us to submit our application (and fee) to another agency with whom they cooperate. We did...in September of LAST year. I have not heard one peep from that other agency since then. Except, of course, that the check cleared. Otherwise, I would have assumed that it had been lost in the mail.

I emailed our caseworker about it recently, and she wrote back to say that I should talk to their coordinator (a.k.a. The Woman Who Had Never, Ever Returned Even One Of My Many Calls, circa Jan-Sept 2009), and if that doesn't work, to talk to HER supervisor. I am saving that project for after Thanksgiving. I have no need to spoil a perfectly good holiday weekend being sour over idiots who can't do their jobs. And I fully intend to get my application fee back. I don't care how non-refundable it is. I'm pretty sure that 15 months with no communication counts as gross negligence of job duties, and I'm pretty sure I can make that case to the powers-that-be.

All that is to say that with the rather slow trickle of placements at our current agency and not getting any communication from the other agency, I'm not optimistic about getting any use out of our current homestudy, which expires in March.

Meanwhile, we have good friends who are fostering small children (age 2 and under), and I'm wondering more and more if that is where we should move next. Foster-to-adopt, that is. It has it's own set of problems...more than I care to name here. But there is such a need. And Olivia is old enough to understand the foster thing better, and she really, really wants a sibling. And we really, really want that too.

On another topic, my husband asked me last month if I thought the recent surgery was helpful at all in removing the monthly cycle pains that had been getting worse. Last month, I didn't think so. Now I'm starting to think that my innards were still healing and therefore more painful during my last period because this month has been completely different. I have not needed any pain medication AT ALL. I wonder if this is an indication of good things to come. Have I healed? Will fertility awaken, at last? I have also completed my first monthly hormone review and will be supplemented this cycle for the first time since surgery. Will it do any good?

I'm praying for patience. I feel strongly that our family isn't complete yet. I just wish I had some indication as to where we will go from here. This swirling brain activity is causing me to lose focus. I need to be cleaning the floor.

Portraits

Tonight, we endured the annual parental torture ritual known as formal portraits. All this was in honor of the fact that the household shortie just turned...
I thought this session would be easy...a breeze compared to all previous sessions. She's old enough to take direction, after all. She's also old enough to decide that SHE should get to take the pictures. This one has some attitude. And yes, she did click a few shots of blank wall. The photographer let her take a shot after just about each pose. A motivational carrot, if you will.


It worked passably well.

We (I) agonized over how to do her hair...up or down or what? I went for a combo...a bit up, the rest down. I wanted to feature the curls. They still ended up looking a bit unkempt. No matter. The kid's eye make the shot. Every time.

She's photogenic, this one. Kid can't take a bad picture.
Unless you agree to let her hold the football and then try to get her to do the Heisman pose.

More photos here.

Some random thoughts

1. I do not know how people functioned before Google. If I don't know the words to a song... If I need to know the hours of a store in a town two hours away because we'll be passing through and I want something from there... If I need to throw together a dinner party and need a recipe using just the items I have... Google. It's all right there. Seriously. How did we ever find anything out before?

2. Our area has a leaf vacuum that picks up all the leaves that you drag to the edge of your property. They've been in vacuum mode since November 1, and every day Olivia looks out at our huge line of leaves (covering and hiding from light the only grass that grows WELL on our whole property) and says, "Mommy, are they going to vacuum up our leaves today?" She was looking forward to watching.

It is naptime. All the kids are asleep. And the leaf vacuum just took our leaves. *Sigh* Oh, the timing.

3. Every night, we say prayers with Olivia before bed. After our formal prayers, we hand her the crucifix to kiss, and she holds it out and talks to Jesus...usually in a run-on sentence and about whatever happens to come to mind. Last night, after coming home from practicing for our parish's Christmas pageant, in which she is a sheep, this was her prayer. "Jesus, please help the sheep to come in slowly and stay on their spot so everyone is in their own spot and sitting still while we sing songs away in a manger." There was some other nonsensical stuff after that. Another example of an Olivia bedtime prayer: "Jesus, can you send me a brother or sister and make us all a family so we can have fun and live together and maybe go camping with Grandma and help me behave so I can not be bad and goof off so we can go to sleep but only after Mommy reads books and make us better so we don't be sick so we can sleep and not cough. Amen."

Some prayers are a little more succinct than others.