She likes to wear her hair down.

It's a lot of work, but isn't it pretty?



And then there's this. Oh, the cuteness! (Watch closely for her "Kickin' dirt in my eye" move. I laughed and laughed. Queen of the dramatic!)

Scattered thoughts and new look

I got a little nutty yesterday (or maybe it was Tuesday...this week is running together already) and started messing with my blog. I have wanted a new title for awhile. And then I hated the font on the old template and, well, you can see the results of the rest. After all the years I've been blogging, you'd think I'd just make the leap and pay for an actual web address instead of the blogspot thing, but alas...I am thrifty. Especially now.

Yesterday is a bit of a blur. I tend toward the hypoglycemic end of the spectrum, so fasting days are a little difficult. I feel great for awhile after a meal, but then as the next meal time approaches, my brain starts to fog up. Especially since I'm ALSO de-carbing. It's good in the long run because my blood sugar remains more constant for longer periods of time on fats and proteins and veggies instead of quick carbs, but it was kind of bad planning to binge on sugars and grains on Tuesday and then expect to fast at all on Wednesday. Yeah.

I overdosed on caffeine this morning with TWO cups of coffee (yes, I'm a lightweight), so now my mind is racing. I'm thinking I'll get my fabric scraps out and start a project like this today just to keep my hands and mind busy so I don't start obsessing. When I sit still without something to do for too long, I start thinking too hard about our next adoption and wondering when we will be chosen by a birthmom, and that is not terribly productive.

I'd work on one of the many presentations we have to prepare for March (Engaged Encounter and NFP ministries), but again, racing mind. Maybe it will slow down by this afternoon. I'd love to get outside for a bit. The sun is out and Spring is on my mind.

Happy Lent!

Four Fat Tuesday notes

1. On the allergy front, we learned that Olivia's natural threshhold for fighting food sensitivities was likely lowered by the surgery/anesthesia/antibiotics, and then the hives send chemicals into the bloodstream to cause more hives, so her threshhold for resistance hasn't been able to recover. Which is why she reacts to EVERYTHING. And why her whole body was blooming with hives at the doctor appointment. She'll have bloodwork to determine specific sensitivities, but in the meantime we were instructed to start a daily OTC antihistamine and also ben*adryl for breakthrough hives and work very hard to keep them away. In doing so, she will naturally rebuild her tolerance against the sensitivities and then will only break out in hives during times of great stress, and not because she ate a graham cracker. I'm just overjoyed that she's not, you know, allergic to the sun or anything. Because I was starting to wonder...

2. 'Tis Fat Tuesday, is it not? Therefore, MY plate today consists of Chocolate and Bread. Starting tomorrow, I forgo sweets and grains for the duration of Lent. So I am indulging today. I ate nearly an entire "pizza" of garlic breadsticks for lunch. And I found the candy stash from SIL's wedding a couple of weeks ago. I have decided that cherry M&Ms are the best candy in the world and should be in my Easter basket.

3. This is a very busy week, what with Lent starting and swim lessons starting and basketball ending. We are going somewhere nearly every night. And somewhere in there, Joe and I have a presentation to prepare in which we "sell" a whole bunch of brand new couples on the idea of writing a whole bunch of talks and becoming Engaged Encounter presenting teams. Wheee!

4. Today, I used the internet to look up a recipe for dinner, find a phone number for a meat processing plant five hours from our home, instantly communicate with my husband and also with a friend who lives in Hawaii, and look up the easiest way to quickly ripen avocados. I have become so dependent on my instant source of information and communication that the idea of a "communication fast" once a week kind of terrifies me. How on earth did our parents and grandparents function without cell phones and internet. It baffles me. Nevertheless, I am going to try to turn the computer off one day a week. Wish me luck!

Waiting and more waiting

I wrote our monthly check today for our marketing fees for our agency. I really, really hate that check. I know that they are doing a service for us and that it costs money to provide that service and that they deserve to be paid (and I honestly don't begrudge them that money), but every time I write it and send it out the door, it reminds me that we have gone another month without a placement. And, meanwhile, our savings account can't get any bigger when I keep needing to pay it out for advertising.

It is a vicious cycle. And it's harder now that we've had a call that ended in nothing because I feel like there's a girl out there waiting for us and we just haven't found her yet. So we keep spending the money. Aauugh!

In reality, it would be easier if baby didn't come for a few months (but when ISN'T that the case?). We are in the midst of the school year, with activities and babysitting and regular things going on. We have that cruise vacation scheduled in late June...one which, necessarily, would exclude baby, so if we had baby we'd have to leave him/her behind with someone. That would be really hard. So, ideally, baby would come sometime in late Summer...late July-ish. Which would require a renewal of our homestudy (which expires in August), but that's a pretty minor expense and hassle in the grand scheme of things. That, of course, if five whole months away, so even if that timing DID work out, we likely wouldn't hear from a birthmother even with pre-planning for another couple of months. And I'm not a patient person. Especially when I have a monthly fiscal reminder of our wait.

All of that is to say that I just wrote a check and it makes me ache for a baby to just BE HERE already. Or to have a match with a birthmother so we can start building a relationship. And planning. I'm all about the planning.

I know God's timing is not mine. But that doesn't make it any easier to wait.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Olivia requested a heart-shaped hairdo for her school Valentine's party today. I think it turned out nicely. Happy Valentine's Day!

Call the Vatican...I think this classifies as a miracle

So, this weekend we went to my sister-in-law's wedding. It was one of those events you anticipate with excitement and dread at the same time...excitement because weddings are kind of fun, but dread because travel and hotel stay with a small child is never predictable and sometimes leads to sleep deprivation and meltdowns during key moments of the main event.

Travel up was rough - check. Sleep deprivation from Friday night - check. Olivia's behavior on Saturday...downright angelic. I can't account for this result by looking to any sources within nature. This had to be super-natural.

Three hours of photos, y'all. BEFORE the ceremony. Olivia had to pose for exactly two of those, but she (and we) had to sit around for the whole three hours. And aside from a few antics, she was mostly adorable. So adorable, in fact, that the photographers kept turning the cameras on her for a few candid shots. Like this.

So Olivia, your challenge is to sit for three hours and THEN behave through a wedding Mass, at which you are by far the youngest child and the only one likely to cause a distraction. Challenge accepted. She behaved beautifully throughout Mass, drawing pictures of the happy couple on her ever-present notepad.

Party time! She probably drove these girls crazy from following them around. (They were the only other young kids, and they were IN the wedding.) But she was having a FABULOUS time. She even sat nicely throughout 80% of the meal. And ATE. Something BESIDES wedding cake!

Then it was time to get her dance face on. This kid is serious about her dancing. And while we fully expected to drag her out kicking and screaming from exhaustion about halfway through the reception, she proved her staying power and closed down the party.

We are all a little exhausted today, but we had a fun weekend. Congrats to Aunt Paula and Uncle Frank!

To match or not to match

Last week was...intense. After six months of sending our marketing check to our adoption agency and getting...well, silence...we got a call about a referral. It's not that we are not being shown. In fact, we are being shown A LOT. In fact, we are told that there are lots of new women coming in and making adoption plans...lots of women who fit our profile and therefore are seeing us. But unless we are chosen and they want to meet us, they don't tell us. Now I know why.

On Monday, we got a call from our agency about a birthmother whose first-choice family backed out on her. Before they presented new couples, they wanted to be sure that those couples would be VERY LIKELY to accept her particular story and situation so she wouldn't get burned again by a failed match. We were probably shown to her in the original batch, but this time they wanted to KNOW that we were pretty committed to her story before they showed us.

Of course, we said yes, please show us, and then we waited five long days to get a call that said that this woman was so shaken by losing her first couple that she has decided not to make any solid decisions until much closer to her due date (3 months away).

Those were five LONG days. And that is why they don't call to give us updates on how many times we are shown. It is too hard to play the "what if" game in your mind all the time.

What that experience did for me, though, was make me realize how many things I wanted to do before a baby does appear in this house. So I'm back to nesting. I spent the weekend painting baseboards (a project I've been putting off for 15 months). I have several other projects swirling in my head, and this newfound motivation is bound to get me going on at least some of them.

We have a family wedding to attend this weekend, so my big project for today is to find all of the wedding attire that my mother-in-law bought for Olivia and put it all in one place and to make her a bow to match. Looking forward to watching her move and groove at the reception, and I promise to post some photos here next week of her adorableness.