Well, internet, tomorrow is officially my last day of work.
Even though I've had mixed feelings up to this point, I'm feeling pretty good today. Nearly everything I wanted to do in training my replacement and preparing for the transition has been completed. Which is why I actually have time to post today.
I'm looking forward to creating a quasi-schedule for my new lifestyle. Playdates with the cousin who lives in the same town as we do. Trips to the library. Joining a mom's group. Finally cleaning up the disaster area known as our home office.
Ambitious, I know.
Anyway, that wasn't the point of today's post. This post has been percolating in my mind for weeks. And I finally have the time to write it.
Today's post is brought to you by the number two. As in, children.
Several of my favorite blogging moms have been posting lately about increasing their family size. Many congrats to Maggie and Blog Nerd on their pregnancy news! (Seriously, I'm starting to think the two of you are in sync somehow...weren't your first babies born in the same month? And now you are both expecting #2 at pretty much the same time? Hmmm...). Arwen also recently posted on her thoughts on this topic.
I guess it's just inevitable...you get at a point with baby #1 when you start remembering, with fondness made possible only by the passage of time, how cute and cuddly she was when she was a newborn. Oh, those tiny newborn diapers and sleepers, and how wonderful and beautiful and new she was! And, yes it was hard, but you've learned to handle it, and look how good you are with her now. Of course, you always wanted more than one child, and why not get started now since you're handling baby #1 so well, and kudos to you for that too!
This is the dialogue I have going on in my head.
Let's start over for a minute, shall we? For those of you who were reading this blog months ago before it became ALL ABOUT THE BABY, you may remember that just prior to our adoption referral, my doctor and I had just completed several more diagnostic tests and had determined the next step in our "fixing fertility" treatments. And then the adoption referral came, which made it very easy to postpone all of this fertility stuff for awhile. It gets exhausting after awhile, and any infertile will agree. It was nice to have many months where fertility is the last thing on our minds.
But now all these "Baby #2" thoughts are entering my mind, and I'm starting to think we should call the doctor and get started back with all the fertility fixing. Because even though I'm not thrilled about the next step (which involves hormone supplements by intramuscular injection to boost my suboptimal hormones), I think I need to give it a chance or I'll always wonder if just getting over these low hormones would have done the trick and allowed us to achieve pregnancy.
So, in a month or two or three, we'll probably start back up on trying to fix my fertility. I'm not really sure I'm ready for that ride yet, but at least I know now that it has an end. We'll make sure of that. We'll put a number on how many cycles we're willing to try this, and then I can happily get off the fertility bus for good and be ready to pursue adoption #2.
Either way, we do plan to give Olivia a sibling someday. In the meantime, I'm SO going to enjoy just being her mommy. Not working, not commuting...just being Mommy.