Thursday, September 4, 2008

Memoranda (with a little bit of politics, sorry)

To: Credit Card Companies, insurance companies, car dealers and other senders of junk mail
From: Olivia's Mommy

Thank you for generously using your postage budget to send us heaps of useless paper. My daughter likes mail, and since she's not allowed to play with any of the important mail, your mailings have been dubbed "hers". She happily studies your propaganda and colorful lettering for a few minutes before chewing and/or tearing the paper to shreds. It provides MINUTES of entertainment during which I can read through and file the important mail. My daughter and I appreciate your contribution to the harmony of mail time.

To: Olivia
From: Mommy

I know you think your toys are boring, but I would appreciate if you could sit in the living room and play with them for a few minutes. It is really flattering that you want to follow me around the house and all, but I'm afraid I may step on your hands if you keep sneaking up behind me.

To: Mommy
From: Olivia

I'm getting a little tired of these "errand" trips. You know how much I like shopping, but I don't particularly like being strapped into the car over and over for two minute trips from shop to shop. Enough already! Can't we find everything at ONE store and not have to go everywhere in one day? And why aren't we buying any toys on these trips? I know these stores sell toys, so don't tell me they don't.

To: Sarah Palin
From: Olivia's Mommy

Saw your speech last night. You go girl!

To: The Mainstream Media
From: Olivia's Mommy

Gov. Palin was not taking pot shots at you in her speech. She wasn't complaining about your scrutiny of her record. She was calling you out for your scrutiny of her family. Please, take Obama's suggestion and lay off the families already.

To: Barack Obama
From: Olivia's Mommy

I have no intention of ever voting for you, but kudos for telling the media to stick to politics and stop trying to drag Palin's family through the mud. That was quite honorable of you.

To: My readers
From: This blogger

Forgive me for throwing politics into this post. I couldn't help myself. This is the first time in my adult life that a presidential election has been the least bit interesting to me.

1 comment:

Jen said...

I'm always afraid to put up my political views because about half of everyone will yell at me. :)