Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Peace with this place

On Saturday, we were outside shoveling the latest round of snow off of the driveway (we don't usually get this many episodes of snow in a season...), and I chipped some concrete off the driveway with my shovel. Upon closer inspection, I realized that the little bits of concrete had been chipped out of a crack that, before the recent freezing and thawing precipitation, was little more than a hairline in the pavement. Now, it is quickly becoming a big, ugly fissure in the driveway.

My first thought was, "I sure hope we move before we have to replace the driveway."

We've been back and forth with talking about moving for years. It's actually a rather painful discussion for me, as I've reminded my husband...not because I'm against moving, but because I'll fall in love with a house that he found while "just looking" online, and over and over again I've had to talk myself (and often him) out of bothering to pursue it. I know that he has different career aspirations and would like to find a job in the near-ish future in or near our former city. But to move before the job is acquired would certainly be putting the cart before the horse, especially since it would add 40 miles or so to his (now) relatively short commute. Not to mention the fact that we haven't even thought about putting OUR house on the market.

Yet, I know that it is out there...we will eventually move away from here. Of that I'm fairly certain. We want, ultimately, to be in a more diverse community for Olivia's sake, so one day...

But as I look out my window at the (currently snow-covered) landscaping and the play yard we built for Olivia, I know that when we do leave here, I will miss this place. I will miss the comfort of the yard that we put so many hours and days of work into making beautiful and fun for our little girl. I will miss our rooms, with the hodge-podge of colors we painted on the walls as we were making the house our own. I will miss our screened-in porch, which has become a favorite room during the temperate months of the year. I know that a new house will bring new opportunities to be creative in making it our own. But this will always be our first house...the one we shared when we first got married and the one where Olivia spent her first years. Even though I get so tired of stepping over toys all over the floor and our constant battle with storage space, I will always love this house.

No comments: