Tuesday, July 7, 2009

My favorite job

I spent most of yesterday's nap weeding in the landscaping. The weather has been nice and it needs to be done, but I could seriously spend an hour out there every day for a week and it would still not be finished.

We are pretty busy for the rest of the week, so I would prefer to just hang out inside today and not do anything at all. Is that an option? Olivia seems to think not.

I did spend a little time this morning pulling vines and poison ivy off of a tree. That stuff just won't go away, and since I'm the least sensitive (that we know of...we aren't testing it on Olivia), I get the job of de-ivying. The good news is that all the trees look much better now.

I'm meeting with a high school friend later this week to begin planning for our 15-year high school reunion next summer. While I'm looking forward to seeing her, I'm SO not looking forward to planning this reunion.

This is new for me. I have always loved to plan. It is what I did for nine years at my job, and I am pretty good at it. But the thought of making lists and accomplishing actual tasks is just too daunting for summer.

When I left my job to be Mom, I agonized over lists and instructions that I was preparing for my successor. I cared SO much that this job be done right and that it be left in the right hands. I put so much of my heart and soul into what I did for a living, and it seemed impossible to me that it could function well without me.

Well, my successor used my lists and created her own system, and now she does everything in her own way. And you know what? Things seem to be running better under her than they did under me. That may just be my outsider's perspective, but the truth is that she's organized and professional and capable, and she does everything so well. And she does almost nothing like I would have done it.

While time marches on and things at my old workplace continue moving forward, I realize that despite throwing my whole self into my job for so many years, I don't miss it. Not at all. I am happier now and much less stressed. I used to have panic attacks over the list of deadlines piling up. I was never terribly fond of presenting, and when I had a presentation coming up I would obsess over it and get nothing else done. I would worry over details not done and registration lists not filled and whether the pile of paperwork on my desk was ever going to disappear.

No, I don't miss it. I am enjoying my current position as primary entertainer of a very active young mind. Sure, there are days when I think my mind wants to move faster than the pace of "Moo, Baa, La, La, La", but thankfully we still have naptime to do and accomplish and think and write. Thank God for naptime.

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