I spoke with Olivia's birthmom on the phone today, and my heart aches for her. Her court date didn't go well for her, and she no longer has any rights to her kids. I'm only getting one side of the story, but it sounds like the foster parents don't like birthmom much and were really pushing for termination as soon as possible. Birthmom may get to visit, but not for a LONG time according to their agreement (and whether or not that agreement holds up...I just don't know).
I can't blame the foster parents or CPS. Birthmom did some really stupid things, albeit NOT ever in the presence of her kids, but still. She was in that young, stupid phase where you don't really believe anything this awful can ever happen to you. She knows better now. She has made huge strides toward a stable, healthy life and continues to stay clean. But it wasn't enough to turn this situation in her favor.
I can't help but think that, for the kids' sake, it would have been nice to have SOME ongoing contact with their mother...letters or phone calls or SOMETHING. I probably see a different side of birthmom, having never been in an adversarial situation with her. My experience leads me to believe that she's a good person whose whole life (growing up, etc) gave her a predisposition toward bad choices. I see her trying to fix that. I can't imagine what kind of an uphill battle she has faced in her life. I give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe that's naive, but it's true.
The whole situation makes me think that it would be SO hard to be a foster parent, with the hope of adopting (foster-to-adopt). Could I keep an objective mind, working only for what is in the best interest of the child? Could I separate that from what is good for the birthmother? What would I have done if I were the foster parent of these girls? I just don't know.
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