God's timing

I've been lazy these past few weeks...not posting anything of substance. In an effort to remedy that, I've dusted off my neglected timer and am planning on focusing solely on this blog for fifteen minutes.

I've been thinking a lot about babies lately. My brother has a new baby. My other two brothers are expecting new babies. A friend just had her baby today, and a cousin is expecting one any day now. Babies seem to be all around.

This week, my husband and I participated in a vocations panel as the "married couple" representative. But when we speak about our vocation to marriage, we also always bring up our vocation to parenthood and specifically adoption. As we were sharing our story this week, it occurred to me that God was preparing us for Olivia. Every fertility struggle made us more and more open to the possibility of adoption, and as soon as we said "yes" and made the decision to pursue adoption, God opened that door for us. He opened it so fast that He practically smacked us in the face with the door.

As we wait for #2, I often wonder what's taking so long. Yeah, I know, we were spoiled with Olivia, and adoption takes time. But still, I wonder.

And then we'll have a particularly difficult day with Olivia, and I'll think...maybe God's timing is better than ours. I know it is. It was difficult to wait for children during those years of infertility. We couldn't always see the light at the end of the tunnel. And then Olivia came along, and in retrospect we realized that the timing was perfect. God gave us years of "couplehood" that allowed us to do things that we don't have time to do anymore. We were more emotionally and financially stable by the time Olivia came along. It was the right time.

I know that God's timing is perfect. It's just hard for me to let go of my need to control and plan everything out. To let go of these control issues is my constant prayer.

In the meantime, I'll enjoy the new babies who are being born to our family and friends. It will be our turn soon enough, I suppose.