Wednesday, May 12, 2010


1. Olivia slept through the night last night, and the night before. That may not sound like earth-shattering news, but after weeks of putting her back to bed in the middle of the night when she woke up imagining monsters, it seems pretty huge to me. I don't know why she's sleeping better, but I hope it continues.

2. On the other hand, we were out and about last night and driving home after dark, and as soon as the inside of the car turned dark, Olivia started to get scared and talk about monsters. She has never been afraid of the inside of the car before. She seems to be really sensitive to the dark lately.

3. As futile as it has been, we've been trying to convince Olivia that monsters don't exist. This seems a little insincere to me, since I know that monsters DO exist, just not in the form that she imagines. But the monsters that exist in this world are unlikely to be in her bedroom at night. They are more likely to be snatching children in parking lots and grocery stores. At any rate, we've told her that monsters won't go where Jesus is, and she has a crucifix in her room, so she seems to get the concept.

4. I had to dismiss a kid from daycare for next school year. I felt so bad when I told her parents about her problems here and recommended that they find a new place for her to go next year. Unfortunately, I can't figure out how to get her to behave. She's obviously bright and very energetic, but she is also aggressive, defiant and occasionally just mean. Recently, she has been throwing fits at the slightest reprimand and she has gone from hitting and pushing to biting, which I just can't tolerate. By nap time, I'm so frustrated from disciplining her that I'm yelling at everyone for everything and the whole house is full of tension. It's not fair to the other kids, and I don't think it's a healthy environment for the kid in question either. I'm sure there's someone out there who can handle her specific needs, but I've finally come to the conclusion that I'm not that person.

5. That kid is also having a sibling sometime in the fall, and I had to explain that I can't take on a baby right now anyway. Which, I think, came across as confusing to them because we are actively waiting for adoption #2, which will likely show up in the form of a very tiny baby, which is the same thing. But it isn't. Yes, having an infant AND caring for other people's toddlers is a lot of work, and yes, when the time comes it will require a lot of sacrifice of my time and stretch my patience. But I reserve the right to be willing to make sacrifices for a baby who will forever after be a part of our family and NOT make the same sacrifices to care for someone else's child while they work. I don't think that's unreasonable.

6. I am frazzled, disappointed, but most of all RELIEVED about these developments. I don't get paid enough to be this stressed out by one kid.

7. I have just ten more babysitting days (after today) until summer break. Not that I'm counting...

8. Did I mention that Olivia is exactly two-and-a-half years old TODAY?

That's two-and-a-half, going on five. My husband calls this her "Topps baseball card action photo"

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